What Happens When You Try to Get On a Plane With a Knife.

So I recently took a flight from Virginia to California and in my haste to catch the plane, I forgot to check my carry on bag before packing it. Needless to say, I found out what happens when you try to get through the TSA with a USMC Ka Bar.

Now I know this was completely my fault and I should have been better prepared and this all could have been avoided; but sometimes in life you are in a rush which usually leads to fuck ups. I had to leave straight from work to the airport and the job I have requires me to work with different metals and various chemicals which was the first thing that set the TSA alarm off.

The swabs of my hands flagged me for advanced screening, so I proceed to get the full pat down and then I see a huge crowd of TSA gathering around my backpack.

I see this portly little fat woman pull out my Ka Bar and unsheath it in slow motion. They are all gawking at the size of the blade as I stand there thinking holy fuck I am going to be that guy on the news.

Higher ups from TSA come in and surround me and proceed to start grilling the shit out of me. I quickly came up with some bull shit about how much fun I had on my camping trip and I forgot to take the knife out of my backpack.

So then they ask me if I will relinquish my weapons. It was weapons (plural) at this point because they found a smaller knife I had hidden in a compartment in my backpack that I also completely forgot about.

Then I am dragged into another room to get fully patted down by this guy who looks like he drives a white van full of candy around playgrounds. At this point I am pretty pissed that I just lost two knives so I say to the guy who is about to fondle me (thanks to US foreign policy and blowback) that I hope he is going to enjoy this as much as I am. He wasn’t amused.

I have 10 minutes till my flight leaves  and miraculously they tell me my story checks out and I am free to go. They also repacked my bags for me as a courtesy! I run, full sprint and catch my plane. Then when I get off in Dallas and try to get on another plane the TSA flags me again and puts me through a full body scanner to see if I picked up any more weapons.

They let me go and I think to myself; I never checked my backpack after they repacked it. I quickly check my bag and find that my laptop is missing.

The TSA stole my fucking laptop. I called the TSA and told them I am calling the police if I don’t get it back immediately so we’ll see what happens…

On the bright side I picked up a couple of new knives to replace the ones they confiscated so I will be doing a full review on them shortly. So far I love the new knives I purchased.

I bought a KaBar Becker BK2 Campanion and it feels like a tank so far. The spine is a quarter inch thick and it feels like you could chop a tree down with it.

The only problems I forsee is that the sheath is shit and the scales (handle) are also garbage but I am going to fabricate a new sheath and custom build scales for it when I get a chance.

I’ll probably do a video on it but check it out for yourself on Amazon.

 

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About Guest

Judah Hamilton is a apocalyptic survival expert. He is a political strategist, inventor, author, avid reader and corporate hack. In his spare time he is a welder, sheet metal fabricator and primitive survival skills expert. All of this aside, he is best known for his drunken, whiskey-induced rants on a variety of topics on post apocalyptic survival.com.
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2 Responses to What Happens When You Try to Get On a Plane With a Knife.

  1. Nothus says:

    Where I’m from, the security there like to consider themselves ontop of the major issues but I sometimes wonder. I was boarding an international to… well… parts well not domestic and I’d long since aquired the habit of travelling with a metal pen set, a small ruling board and pad of paper. Being a building designer & draughtsman, I’d find myself jotting ideas down the old fashioned way.
    I’d also taken to carrying a folding fan and chopsticks in my top inner jacket pocket, (the long laquered, pointed japanese variety hashi and the fan was metal ribbed). and had been doing that for so long I thought nothing of it. They of course went through the barriers with me and the alarms going off, I attracted the attention of the officers on site. They must’ve been bored outta their teenee tynees, they had me taking off my shoes, removing my belt, removing my jacket and I started to remove my trousers before they realised just how ridiculous the situation was. Despite all of their precautions and questions which I answered as none comittally as possible, none of those items were confiscated… but I had to throw away the mouthwash, a good bottle of cologne and a half drunk bottle of water?
    When I get onto the plane.. re-dressed and without some of my toiletries, just after take off they served diner… twas very nice but the steak was a little tough.. its a good thing the airline stewards provided us with nice long sharp steel steak knives to cut it with.

  2. wally says:

    well long steel steak knives make sense dont they?

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